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Vulnerability is not my favourite feeling at all.
5am. Been up packing. Supposed to go to bed but I'm lying awake, strangling my pillow which smells so lovely of you. It's times like these that make me wonder how this happened. How I became so fixated with you, so dependent on you, so attached. Can't decide if it's a good place to be or not. To be in your love is amazing but I can only image how completely it will destroy me if I am taken out of it. And of course the dread of becoming on of those ridiculously demanding and clingly girlfriends which I despise so much is now looming over my head. I think I'm focusing too much on the thought of losing you and making a mess of things.
I wish I could always make you happy but sometimes I need to be the part of me that you don't like. You have me at my best and my worst.